Daily Times

Marriage is a beautiful union between two individuals, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges. From communication issues to conflicting expectations, many couples find themselves struggling to navigate the complexities of married life. However, with the help of marital counselling, couples can proactively address potential conflicts, learn effective communication skills, and build a solid foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage. Marriage counselling is an important element, and it should be incorporated into all segments of society. Whether educated or uneducated, every individual requires counselling before marriage. An interview with Dr Ambreen Fatima was conducted to get insight into the transformative power of marriage counselling.

Dr Ambreen Fatima is a highly qualified professional, holding certifications as a marital and family therapist, as well as a consultant clinical psychologist. I asked her about her time in the field of therapy and she told us that she has been doing therapy since 1999. She was asked about her opinion on marriage counselling needs in Pakistan, and she highlighted that there is a lack of marriage counsellors in Pakistan and her family is working for marriage counselling in Pakistan for counselling prior to marriage. She highlighted the need to educate and counsel people prior to marriage and that the person’s characteristics and behaviours matter a lot for the sustenance of marriage. Even a number of educated and wise people lack happiness in their marital life because they lack certain aspects important for happy marital life.

A lot of people ignore family dynamics, the roles they hold and they should play within the family, children, and many other aspects.

We all carry emotional baggage from our past experiences, and these can unknowingly influence our behaviour in relationships.

There is no awareness regarding either marriage in Pakistan or the development of new relations. Girls are not trained for what they are going to face once they enter married life and they only fantasize about the ornaments and perks of marriage. I asked whether marriage counselling had failed in Pakistan to which she said no. But the proper education in marriage counselling is absent in Pakistan when it is necessity of time that marriage counselling should be a part of the syllabus.

She also urged that the contribution of marriage counselling in Pakistan is not according to its need. The Couples and even families think that there is a need to visit the counsellor only when they are on the edge of divorce, or the marriage can see no way forward. I asked her about the awareness of marriage counselling in Pakistan. She was aggrieved that there is a dire need for marriage counselling in Pakistan, which is yet not identified and people have only gained it from friends and families. They sometimes do it out of their gains and, sometimes, loyalty.

There is a need to show patience in certain circumstances. Couples due to their age do not know which issues should be worked on and what should not be highlighted without the consultation of a partner. Usually, people visit a marriage counsellor because they know the importance of marriage counselling but it is only a small segment of society.

She shared her experience with clients and she told how a couple approached her and when both parties were counseled, the divorcing situation turned into marriage therapy. She highlighted the gap between people’s appreciation of marriage counselling the emotional ventilation. She was worried that people come to a marriage counsellor for the ventilation of their emotions and not for the maintenance of relationships with their partners. People are only concerned about the part of their partner but not the part they play in the bigger picture.

In light of her interview, I have concluded that it is of great importance to identify the importance of marriage counselling and the role a person plays in marriage and gender roles should be avoided. We all carry emotional baggage from our past experiences, and these can unknowingly influence our behaviour in relationships. Marital counselling provides an opportunity for couples to identify any negative relationship patterns, unresolved issues, or emotional wounds that might affect their marriage. Marriage is not just about sharing a home; it’s about building a deep emotional bond and fostering intimacy. By proactively engaging in counselling, couples can increase their chances of building a fulfilling, resilient, and loving marriage. Remember, a strong foundation today paves the way for a brighter future together.

The writer is a student.