Daily Times

Bullyism is a widely occurring and observed phenomenon. One would like to believe that they have experienced some form of bullying at least once in their lifetime if not more. Bullying is a form of vandalism carried out with the intent to cause hurt and discomfort to individuals who seem less powerful and more vulnerable. It is distinguished from outbursts of anger or rowdyism or unwanted instantaneous skirmishes in the sense that bullying is organized and systematic. It is a deliberate attempt at attacking the very being or self-esteem of an individual who is deemed weaker and defenceless in front of the bully. The bully or the aggressor has a psychology of dominating the will of the other person by subjugating them to have everything their way. That is the underlying factor behind the basic dynamics of such unfitting and unseemly behaviour. A bully mostly gets what he wants by being aggressive and coercive; skills their kind learnt quite early in life, which of course almost always served the purpose for them.

In our society, bullying is ubiquitous and omnipresent existence in every facet of life, we, as humans deal with. From homes to schools, from streets to workplaces, it is the bullies who make life harder for everyone, especially the ones already struggling, fighting their battles incessantly. From verbal to physical, from psychological to emotional bullying can take all forms and can wreak havoc in the minds and lives of the ones subjected to such unruly and violent behaviours. Such behaviour has far-reaching implications not only for the sufferers especially emotionally and socially, but also for the bullies. The sufferers lose their ground, their confidence and their composure whereas the bullies further strengthen their image in their heads as invincible and cement their reputation amongst their peers as domineering officious individuals.

In our society, bullying is a ubiquitous and omnipresent existence in every facet of life.

Of course, no aggressors could exist without the presence of victims. Like every other dynamic at work in the human condition, bullying also has the bully and the victim enmeshed in an extremely unpleasant reality like the two sides of the coin. One can’t exist without the other. Just like the weak and the meek victim feeds the ego and megalomania of the bully, the bully also feeds the fears of the victims to the point of breaking them apart. This is not to say that the victim attracts such situations and such tyrants in their life (which might be true) but they do radiate their meekness and exude docility and fear for the bully to smell it and come looking for their victim. Such kind of victims lacks that sense of self-assertiveness and confidence to stand up for themselves failing which they perpetuate the cycles of tyranny and oppression against themselves at the hands of their oppressors. Their frailty and excessive vulnerability make their assailant a lot stronger and invulnerable with an elated sense of self-assurance accompanied by an inflated ego.

This kind of paranoia can be seen in all kinds of relationships in our society. It would be a misconception to believe that it is only educational institutions which foster a conducive atmosphere for unruly children to turn them into bullies. Bullies can be found everywhere. Parents can be bullies to their children. Siblings can be bullies subjugating the will of their lesser kin. A life partner, irrespective of their gender, can be found to be a long-standing inescapable bully. It is not uncommon for a boss at the workplace to be a bully but interestingly enough colleagues even the ones at lower hierarchical tier can turn into their boss’s worst nightmare if the boss has a streak of nobility (read “meekness”) in him, that is. Workplace bullies are hard to beat for their multi-dimensional existence in the system. There is so much at play than what just meets the eye. Professionals in a workplace are brimming with ambition. It is a rat race to prove oneself, to prove one’s superiority to the other, and to make one look smarter and indispensable for the job and the organization. These impulses would make anybody do things immoral and unethical just to lead the race. But if a bully is in the picture, lo and behold; things become way too ugly and unbearable for the rest of the worker community. Everyone who is a weaker candidate in the race would fall prey to the harming and humiliating tantrums and attacks of bullies.

Interestingly enough, there are other factors also which are so subtle that people would fail to notice them as the reasons behind a bully’s indecorous and assaultive behaviour. One such thing is insecurity. Whether it’s a workplace or home, anyone who is a bully at heart would not spare the one, he feels insecure. It is a bully’s preemptive strike to prevent his very fragile ego from getting hurt. Similarly, a personality clash is another factor for all such obnoxious instances where the bully would make every effort to hurt the one, he can not get along with under any circumstances, why because there is a fundamental incompatibility between their personalities. But despite all disagreements, it would only be the bully who would go all out to hurt the other than just staying passive-aggressive. So, in a nutshell, where a bully is someone who is a congenital and compulsive aggressor, it is up to the incorrigible, hopeless victim to stop becoming fodder for the ravenous appetite of these predators. They need to learn to stand up for themselves and their right to feel their existence unapologetically and reclaim their space by breaking every claw that needlessly intends to prey and pounce on them.

The writer is an educationist and a PhD in art and design.