Daily Times

Singer-cum-actress Komal Rizvi spilled the beans about her marriage at young age, saying her ex-husband had abused her physically and psychologically. She also recalled an incident where her ex hit her with a frying pan for serving cold food.

In an interview on Nadir Ali Podcast, Komal Rizvi opened up about this very “heavy” and “serious” topic. “Look, a girl is told from her very childhood that you are going to have a lovely wedding and your husband will really take care of you. That girl, especially in our culture, tries not 100 percent but 200 percent hard to save her marriage,” she said, and added “I have a complaint for our society – it doesn’t teach our daughters what the line is. The line, that, forget your husband, no one can cross because it will result in the loss of your self-respect, confidence and self-esteem. You won’t be able to trust yourself or have faith in yourself and your happiness will be ruined if you let them cross this line. No one taught me this.”

Komal Rizvi said she was taught to take care of her husband, to cook and always comply with what her husband’s parents and elders say.

Though she agrees that these things are reasonable, she stressed that the other side should also be addressed, how women need to be educated about establishing boundaries. “It took me four years to realise that it isn’t my fault if he raises his hand at me or oppresses me. He’s also playing mind games alongside that. Mind games like ‘It was your fault I hit you with a frying pan – why did you serve me cold food?’,” she said. “I was so young at the time that when he would repeat these same things, play psychological games, I would believe that maybe if I love him more, if I try harder, he’ll be happy with me. But a person who is sick – yes, he’s sick – a person who does such uncouth things like raising a hand on someone – there is nothing more uncouth than that – I don’t even raise a hand on a dog, forget humans.”

The ‘Washmallay’ singer highlighted the importance of drawing healthy boundaries. “I wasn’t told how I can draw that line so in that stupidity, it took me four years. Otherwise, if I had been strong, had exposure or training to distinguish between right and wrong – to know that tolerating abuse against oneself is also a sin – to abuse and to tolerate abuse are both sins. If someone had told me that, I would out in six months – my three and a half years would not have been wasted,” she chuckled.

Komal Rizvi further said “I only have one regret – I have no regrets about my divorce, I am happy – if I have regrets, they’re only about wasting my prime youth on a person who’s still like that, he’s still at the same mental and spiritual growth levels as before.”

She singer also mentioned that when she called the cops in Oman, they refused to help, calling it a “domestic matter”.