Daily Times

Very rarely will you find in any other country, its ‘local traders’ showing their solidarity with the chief spook — the citizens erecting giant size posters with usual ‘patriotic’ bylines, singing praises of their ‘lion’, plastered all over the federal capital. But we are different are we not? In any other country, typically what an intelligence agency does is under so many wraps that rarely common people even get wind of what they are up to. However, we are very ‘special’. We are a country where a spy agency has to demonstrate its street power through rallies. Let us not even go to the list of who is who in the business of showing undying and unyielding solidarity with this beloved national asset. That in itself is a strategic joke of epic proportions.
Typically, the political parties are in the business of these rallies because they have to maintain their connection with the people they are representing. However, being so special, we have to admit that a spy agency is also a political entity, or likes to play politics. This is very understandable as this country has such foul luck with so many ‘corrupt’ politicos. After all, we are in the media age and where a media house is trying to butt heads with a national treasure, it is every ‘patriotic’ Pakistani’s right to stand up with the last breath and bone in their body to defend the honour of this spotless national institution. I guess I am so blessed that I refrain from the idiot box because the more I hear about the ongoing row between the media giant and the spook house, it makes me just laugh at this sorry yet rather comical situation.
It reminds me of the royal bathhouse and the saying in Urdu, which loosely translated says that in the bathhouse everyone stands stripped naked. By no means am I implying that the national treasure has anything to do with the allegation levelled by the victim, a very senior anchor, in this case. And by the same token, I strongly condemn any attack against any individual, whether a nightly ring master or any desk or outdoor journalist. The readers know my position on the nightly ringleaders of the idiot box. While I respect the victim’s position as he is doing a job, I often and very openly disagree with his views. I wish Mr Mir a speedy recovery so he can be back on the tube to entertain his viewers. Those who are offended by my usage of the term ‘entertain’ ought to take a chill pill and just sit back and relax. Most of our so-called anchors are trying to entertain their respective audiences with a scoop or two like the flavours of their favorite ice cream. Trust me, we have plenty of couch potatoes looking for their favorite dessert, right after dinner.
If you were to Google the new spy chief who has a distant relationship with Bollywood superstar Shahrukh Khan, you would find that our dear darling Inter-Services Public Relations (ISPR) denies any such relationship. I am sure if Mr Khan from Bollywood were questioned, his feelings would perhaps be similar. Just an interesting observation, that we on both sides are people of the same roots, and no matter how much we deny it, the roots somewhere meet and despite our denials, connect us.
Speaking of the ISPR, it affirms my position that as a ‘people’s institution’ it has to have its position cleared with its constituents. After all, it has to be answerable to the people who go the extra mile and demonstrate their unyielding love, support and admiration for their army and its spy wing. All I can say is whoever thought of this amateurish tactic somewhere, perhaps earned a special bonus for such a ‘bright’ idea. I know I have a very poor memory but there was a case by the name of ‘Mehrangate’, which was about some ‘fictitious’ agency trying to influence the results of an ‘unnecessary’ election of the 1990s. Can I shrug my shoulders and move on? After all, it was some individual acting in his personal capacity.
Perhaps more recently another scandal, which was on the tip of every nightly ringmaster’s tongue (including the victim) ad nauseum, by the title of ‘Memogate’ comes to mind. God knows who came up with the script of this one but whoever did was again very amateur. When the so-called scandal of the century was hogging airtime, especially at the comical media powerhouse, at least this scribe was straight on Twitter and other venues including this one. The way it was overplayed, again perhaps it was some fictitious agency behind such a ‘bright’ idea.
So, if all and sundry get back to their respective businesses, would that not be awesome for a change? The spy agency cracks the entire network of terrorists and brings peace and tranquillity back to this nation. The media giants focus on delivering news to the people and not ‘acting’ like the questionable pillar of the state, so to speak. Will that not be nice for a change? If that happens, we will become so ordinary and predictable. How can we let that happen? After all, we are very, very ‘special’.

The writer is a Pakistani-American mortgage banker. He blogs at http://dasghar.blogspot.com and can be reached at dasghar@aol.com.
He tweets at http://twitter.com/dasghar