Daily Times

The crisis unfolding in the federal capital has paralysed the entire country and perhaps given a totally new vision to the so-called passionate youth and the deprived of this sorry country. The way this blatant show of strength is being played on the streets of the capital in the guise of a protest is a downright insult to the word protest, let alone democratic protest. Television anchors, their reporters, commentators and senior analysts are all giving us running commentary of this new blood sport and trying to outdo one another, taking the idiot box to the next level of idiocy. As mentioned earlier here, Pakistan is not Egypt and, despite the nonsense spewed by a rather deranged Mr Khan, there is no Hosni Mubarak around. I would have been a lifelong disciple of Mr Khan and the ‘Quaid-e-Tube Inqilab’ (revolution), Dr Qadri, had they brought this show to Islamabad to oust our version of Hosni Mobarak not so long ago. But, as they say, memories fade and so do seasonal leaders.
Let us take a look at our saviours, our revolutionaries, for a minute, shall we? Mr Khan was able to form a government in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa under these “tainted”, “rigged” and very “dark” elections. Mr Khan, now also known as Muhammad bin Qasim and Tariq bin Zayad, would have earned my respect immensely had he refrained from forming a government in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa in 2013 due to the grievances he aired for over a year. He would have been on the Mount Everest of high moral ground. However, after forming a government and that too after a year, dislodging an elected Prime Minister (PM) whom he accepted as a member of the National Assembly (NA) is, to say the least, very questionable. As for the ‘Quaid-e-Inqilab’, who vows to remain peaceful but instructs his followers to block the NA, let us refrain from saying much about him. I know I am hell bound anyway but to take a few curses from such a pious individual would perhaps make my afterlife a bit more miserable. The champions of change, like the very awami (popular) Sheikh of Pindi, gave us the verdict of a sacrifice before Eid-ul-Azha. One wonders if he has a side gig in astrology with parrots and tarot cards in Raja Bazaar, my place of birth. The Chaudhrys, who have a certain obsession with uniforms, are playing their pivotal role in saving and strengthening our crippled, weak and poor democracy through this revolution. Boy, what a burden these two cousins carry; one stands in awe of these great democrats.
What the eye of the camera has captured in the last few days has brought my head down in shame. Let me preface the argument with what I have categorically stated here and on Twitter: I am one of the staunchest critics of this PM and his cronies yet, as a person, I will never agree with the means and methods being applied here to build pressure on the PM to resign. Being a Punjabi, I am ashamed of this circus of Punjabi politicians playing in Lahore and now in Islamabad. The language used by Mr Khan towards a sitting PM could definitely earn him a title role in some Punjabi flick. The only thing missing is a gandasa (scythe) in his hand otherwise his loud dialogue delivery and cheap pot shots really go well with the requirements of such a role. His disc jockey has been playing pre-recorded numbers in his praise to entertain the ‘charged’ youth.
The ‘tube’ circus that is being dubbed a revolution is on and the tube pundits who want the khakis to step in and take over have been doing everything in their power to drag this sorry country into that mess. To them, the world is watching us through the same lens as well. Why do you get offended when the rest of the world, especially our neighbours, calls us a banana republic? I hate to say this when I hear my icons, who have given me the inspiration to scribble, sit on prime time and dismiss this country as a ‘special case’. To them, nothing works here, unless the stick of the chief martial law administrator is on people’s heads. Sirs, with utter respect, you are people of wisdom. Please do not degrade your stature with such talk. Historians are recording this new folly of ours as well.
Speaking of historians, with utter respect to the revolutionaries, both Mr Khan and Dr Qadri will not be remembered in kind words. Without going into the nitty-gritty details of the stupidities of both that all of us have seen and heard, what both these not so gentle of men have done is erode the basic respect of the foundation of a state. Perhaps both of them ought to refer to peaceful protests around the world to seek some guidance. The parliament building and PM House are symbols of a functioning state. To bring mobs armed with sticks, masks and other paraphernalia to coerce, intimidate and enrage, does not quite fit into the definition of a ‘peaceful protest’.
This whole surreal adventure seems to have taken its cue from the famous book by Sun Tzu, called The Art of War. For God’s sake, this is not a war, a 20-20 cricket match or, for that matter, Karbala. This is a country of 178 million other people. Two out of control political leaders cannot decide the fate of the remaining population. Last but not least, assuming that Articles 1-40 are not in place, according to Dr Qadri, the forum for their proper enforcement is the same parliament that you have besieged. As these lines are being written, there is news that “important state institutions” have instructed both sides to conduct “meaningful negotiations”. All revolutions evolve, revolve and eventually have to resolve. I feel so sorry for the idiots on the tube who continue to have Tahrir fantasies.

The writer is a Pakistani-American mortgage banker. He blogs at http://dasghar.blogspot.com and can be reached at dasghar@aol.com. He tweets at http://twitter.com/dasghar