Daily Times

“A wound that had not healed but which I feared was only getting worse. I ached for his ache, I prayed that he would find the peace he was yearning for.” Sarah Inam, 39 years old bright, beautiful, full-of-life woman, deluded to “heal,” a broken man wrote the aforementioned phrases on her Instagram for the last time.

Sarah Inam was a behavioral psychology major and she received her diploma from the University of London, for someone who understood human psychology at a deeper level, it seems pretty idiotic to hope for change from a gender that is never held accountable for its actions, yet, the reason why women choose to stay in delusion is the deep-rooted patriarchy that convinces them to tolerate abuse which later transforms into brutal gender violence.

Pakistan is among the 5 countries worst for women, and no matter how many netizens come on Twitter to thrash the fact, it stays firm because when you look around, from Shahrukh Jatoi to Sheikh Danish Ali, you see each one of these culprits roaming as nothing happened. As a woman, if I dare to reject a man’s marriage proposal, I might be the next hashtag trending. Victimization is accelerating because measures taken by the state are basically non-existent.

A point that most people know but choose to ignore is how women are forced to believe that they are supposed to be saviors of badly raised men. Noor Muqaddam was subjected to horrendous abuse by a man who was schizophrenic as per initial reports and was involved in several harassment cases before touching the extreme ends. Right after her murder, people who knew Zahir came out and revealed the kind of abusive behavior he had ever since he was a child. His upbringing was on violent grounds. Secondly, in Khadija’s case, Sheikh Danish was backed up by his daughter Ana Ali and there is a need to establish the fact that all these culprits come from educated privileged families.

Decoding the phrase “Saviors of badly raised men”, the romanticization of angry violent men in Pakistani dramas was never new. An angry young man is always considered a heartthrob who in the end turns into a saint because of a woman’s purely loyal affection towards him, shows like these have created a narrative that fuels the fire created by patriarchy because instead of actual psychological help, women are considered rehabilitation centers and expected to utilize their magical healing powers to bring the best out of violence.

Noor and Sarah are prime examples of what is wrong with the society we have built for one gender where women are nothing more than hashtags and their lives are meant to be wasted in unhappy, abusive marriages and relationships. It is a vague statement, to say the least, but there is no classism when it comes to the members of the fair sex because all women have the same fate more or less. From Zainab, a child who was found in a dumpster to Sarah, who was found bathing in her own blood in a luxurious bathroom, the only difference is the name.

Gender-based violence in Pakistan is becoming a nightmare and a common tale at the same time, justice has not prevailed in Noor’s case yet and Sarah’s case has happened. Hashtags after hashtags, but no egalitarianism can be seen. Because empowerment does exist, the common belief of rescuing men from drowning in their own curse is a woman’s responsibility.

Sarah Inam bids goodbye to the world, but leaves a question mark behind her, just like Noor, Zainab, and thousands of women who were raped, killed, beheaded, and subjected to domestic violence did, but answers can’t be found.

The writer can be reached at: Aleezehfatima2000@gmail.com.