From victim blaming to take him down

Author: Dr Atifa Usmani

Social media platforms, newsreels, articles, critiques, talk shows all are abuzz with Shahnawaz-Sara-Ayaz Amir discourse since the day the unfortunate incident surfaced. Everyone has something to say regarding the incident and its dynamics. From the ideas of Victim-Blaming to Take Him Down, all have found their newsworthiness to the diverse mindsets of readers across the board. If I am to sum up the whole narrative in two points then my take-away from all stories, all critiques and all narratives would be: (a) Ayaz Amir should or shouldn’t be persecuted for the wrong committed by his son. (b) since Sarah Inam was privy to her husband’s alleged persona and hence was aware of what she was going in for when she decided to tie the knot with him, that provides some justification for her murder?

Both propositions are not that simple, in fact with human beings nothing is ever simple. Human beings are complex creatures and have woven a more complex matrix of a society around them. We as human beings are enmeshed in systems of our own doing, and this enmeshment makes us believe things, do and execute things in a manner which might not be the best course of action in a given situation yet we do it but are not ready to take the responsibility for our actions.

Mr. Ayaz Amir as we know him for his on-screen presence is a political puritan. I know the term would sound antithetical provided that Mr. Amir is a liberalist, but here the term alludes to his very priggish and pedantic approach regarding expected political praxis in matters of state and its subjects. And he is quite a hardliner there, with inflexible preferences of his own and choicest criticisms. Now when it comes to people like him who want to be taken as some experts or think-tank, lecturing and theorizing day in and day out about the should-s and shouldn’t-s for a country and its inhabitants, it is only rational to hold him answerable for the discrepancies observed in his personal life. Mainly because the events happening in his personal life disrupted the social system. Any individual undergoing any personal trauma at any given stage in life goes back to his childhood patterns that he experienced and hence a doing of their parents directly or indirectly. In this case if Mr. Amir wants to act like an authority in matters of state and people he must partake of the responsibility, albeit partially, for bringing suffering to one girl, one family and also to the nation still in shock.

As for Ms. Sarah Inam lots of social media posts by her friends etcetera suggested that she was not entirely unaware of what she was heading in for when she selected Mr. Shahnawaz as her life partner. There was no way she didn’t know about his previous two marriages. She also was aware of the brokenness of the chap and how damaged he was. Having said so, before I am blamed for Victim-bashing, it doesn’t mean that she could know the ultimate tendencies especially for violence he could have had, nor that there is a quick quiz or test to measure such inclinations quantifiably. I am only trying to pinpoint those aspects which automatically appeal to one’s common sense and are detectable through human intuition radars. Under given circumstances, only if one is privy to the habits of addiction, unemployment, and failed marriages, one must make a probe into knowing the psychological, emotional and social persona pf the person in question. Such inclinations as were possessed by Mr. Shahnawaz are not normal by any definitions of normalcy and going in for anything other than normal would have its risks. Normal brawls are for normal marriages, making a bond with somebody with extreme neurotic tendencies, a habit and history of addiction, one cannot expect any normalcy to prevail under off-course circumstances. But it is always beyond tragic that those persons who have hope, positive outlook on life, faith in basic goodness of all men often fall prey to their own good intentions. Same happened with the ill-fated Ms. Sarah Inam. Had she not been a beautiful human being she might still be living her life.

Nonetheless, the guy would endure the sad fate he brought upon the girl, however that is decided by the court of justice. At the end of the day everyone has to pay the price for the choices he made in life one way or another.

The writer is an educationist and a PhD in art and design.

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