The ever-controversial Mathira is never out of things to talk about. She has been in the limelight over the years for all the right and wrong reasons. Since her video jockey days, Mathira has been loved, hated, trolled and prompted to school several along the way. But staying relevant hasn’t ever been an issue for her as she continues to make a space for herself in the digital arena. The host, who’s known by many, understood by a few and judged by everyone, recently sat down with Taimoor Salahuddin alias Mooro, to share her journey and how it has changed her. Mathira revealed that since moving to Pakistan from Zimbabwe, where she was born and raised, she’s had to sleep hungry, travel in rickshaws and the adversity followed by a series of bad relationships, made her lose faith in God. But now, she prays tahajjud, salatul hajat and even recites the Quran in English to understand it better. She’s also decided to upgrade her wardrobe in an attempt to grow with time. “I do not socialise because I don’t like parties. Some bad energies come all the way to your home, especially after you return from places where people are drunk, can’t hear each other and don’t talk to each other,” Mathira shared. “Before you are able to recover from the aftermath, another weekend steps in. So, I don’t like that lifestyle. I’m an extrovert and a very big introvert,” she revealed. The host went on to acknowledge that she may have appeared “very bold” during her VJ days but “didn’t drink until I was in a bad relationship because of depression and anxiety.” She is, however, over that phase now and content in life. “The time during which we get into these meaningless relationships is the time we need to spend on establishing a base for ourselves. Our life is a building, if the pillars weak, the building will never be strong. If the investment you’re supposed to make on establishing that base, you instead make on partying, your building will collapse,” she remarked. Moving on to narrate her life journey, Mathira dished out, “I hadn’t completed my education, left Zimbabwe, and came here. Nobody accepted us from the maternal side of our family because they knew they’d have to feed us, get us married. We were girls after all. And we had to work. So, we faced many problems but thankfully I’ve always been a solution-oriented person.” The biggest problem for Mathira was not knowing how to interact with locals. “I didn’t know Urdu. And I would say ‘darling, sweetheart, thank you, good morning, good afternoon’ to random people and give compliments left, right and centre. Where I came from, that was normal. I didn’t know that here, even if you call someone ‘jaanu’, in their head, they’ll have made babies with you,” she laughed. But the VJ has had to face a lot more. “I’ve had to travel in rikshaws, buses, my mom and us, we’ve had to sleep hungry. We’ve seen dark times. From being born with a golden spoon to having no roof on our heads, we’ve seen it all. And I had to change myself a lot to adjust,” she recalled. “But when God gives problems, He also gives solutions. For me, my guardian angel was my first boss. He told me, no parties, no drinking, he walked me through like a guardian should. He trusted me with his channel and I owed it to him to make it shine. I ended up moving, buying a car, my favourite shoes. I’d walk past this shop everyday and tell myself I’d get those shoes one day and I finally did,” she chuckled. “That’s when I started establishing my base.” Mathira recalled hitting rock bottom twice, losing her religion, and coming back stronger and more spiritual than ever. “We lost everything and I ended up becoming semi-atheist because I didn’t understand why these things were happening to me. But that path made me who I am and now and I thank God a hundred times because of it. Had He not made me walk that difficult path, I wouldn’t be where I am today,” she assured. “Whenever a person breaks, always remember, it’s because they are being made to undergo a transformation. Now, I believe that a person should never be comfortable in life. If you find comfort in your wealth, you will lose it all. If you find comfort in your poverty, you will gain nothing. If you’re broken and having a sorrow party you will never taste happiness. If you’re happy and start thinking it’ll stay the same, you will be disappointed very soon,” asserted Mathira. About her “very private” and spiritual side, she reflected, “When you fall in love with God, the world becomes dust under your feet. When you fall in love with the world, you become insignificant to it. I speak to God like I would speak to my father, my friend. Irrespective of the problem, I will eat and sleep in peace. Because I talk to God about my problems and leave it to Him to solve them and He does. I have seen failed relationships, bad marriages, I have been in horrible places in life. Now, I’m trying to become a better human.” Mathira feels that people cannot serve religion before serving humanity. “Humans first need to focus on serving humanity, then they can move on to the religion bit. Here, we just skip to the religion part, which leads us to pick and choose facts that we are comfortable with. I am still finding myself. Recently I’ve decided that I will bring a change in my clothing. I’ve changed my wardrobe. I need more covered clothes, no shorts, no cleavage. I just thought it’s about time. I’m thirty, I’ve done it all, now I want to try this and see where it takes me.” The host went on to lament, “I’ve been judged all my life. I’ve seen people tell others that I’m a ‘buri aurat’ just because of the way I dress. But these people don’t even know me. This change, however, is solely because change is important to me. I feel one should move with time. I feel I’m growing mentally and I have to change with myself. And I’ve learnt from this guru that whenever you have an excess of anything in life, it becomes toxic for you. Anything that exceeds its limit is poison so you should know your capacity and everyone’s capacity is different.”