Take-it-or-leave-itDear Mathira & Rose,
My friend’s husband is having an affair for the last one year. He confessed too as he cannot manage both and even not giving proper rights to his wife because of mental stress. He’s willing to leave that girl but not his wife and kid. He has told his wife to give him time to come back to her. His wife got in touch with the girl and the girl is also willing to leave him because she understands no one can be happy if they both stay along or get married. The girl shares with his wife every time he messages or calls her. Now the problem is that wife is now getting impatient over when he would end it as she daily talks to him about the affair stuff and mistreatment. What she should do as both husband and wife are willing to have a good life but wife is willing to give him time to come back but she’s just in a hurry to get him back. Solutions please.
Regards,
Concerned Friend
Mathira’s Advice:
I’ve been down this road. If someone wants to end an affair, they can do that within a second, especially if their partner also gets to know of it. I think the guy is making a fool out of his wife. Also, the wife needs to stop talking to his girlfriend because if that girl was so great, she would’ve blocked this guy and told him that it’s time for her to exit his life. If the guy also really wanted to be with his wife, he would’ve given it straight to his girlfriend. Why’s it happening the other way around? Why is the wife giving him time to welcome him back as though he’s done something good? He’s the one who’s supposed to make it up to her by being extra caring and giving her his time. He’s supposed to now love his family some extra. Why’s he being the victim here? His girlfriend seems to be having a good time by forwarding his messages etc.
If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira
Rose’s Advice:
Here I don’t understand that in which country does it happen that the husband is given time to leave his mistress. Let’s reverse the roles and make the wife start an affair. Let’s see if the husband will give her time and accept this. I understand the marriage and a child’s life as at stake here but what I don’t understand is what he needs time for. You either end the affair or you don’t. This isn’t a constitution you’re charting that you need time. Once a cheater always a cheater. The problem with our society’s women is that even if their husbands cheat or mistreat them, they’ll still accept them. I’m sorry but if you’re treated wrong, you have every right to look for a better life and walk out of this one. If I were in her place, I would’ve left him. If he has the guts to first start an affair and then continue with it even after his wife finds out, then he’s not worth it.
If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777