Dear Mathira & Rose, I am so upset. Sharing with you guys because I want to know if I’m overreacting or is it actually a big deal. I’m engaged and my family doesn’t like my fiancé much because of our age difference and my mother thinks he’s a stingy. So what happened was that he told me he wanted to give me Eidi. I was like you don’t need to but he insisted so at the end we decided he will send me money and I’ll buy something for myself. He sent his friend with Rs 25,000 cash and it was in Rs 100 notes (250 notes in total). I don’t think of myself as something but I felt insulted. I feel like this is a red flag and I should run away ASAP. I already experienced similar situation before and I told him don’t do this it hurts me. What am I supposed to do now? He’s abroad and his parents have died. I live in UK as well. He wants me to move to US with him. It’s just not about the Eidi I’m scared. I’ve already resigned from my job and thinking about moving to US with him and I don’t have friends there how am I going to survive if he keeps acting stingy? Regards, Confused Mathira’s Advice: If you think you’re getting all these red flags so earlier on, then I don’t think even if you do end up marrying him, it’s going to last. This is because you’ll always have your guard up. Even if he commits an honest mistake, you’ll feel negative about it. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault, it’s just how you feel. Sometimes, two people just don’t click. The fact that you’re moving for him and leaving your job etc is triggering your anxiety, it might as well be your sixth sense telling you something. I think that if your mind isn’t accepting his behaviour and habits, don’t be with him rather than ruining a marriage. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira Rose’s Advice: Why’s it so much about the money and not the relationship? I don’t understand what’s bothering you so much about this guy? The fact that the money is less or that he sent it in Rs 100 notes. Eidi can even be of Rs 10. Whatever someone gives you out of happiness, you take it. Eidi isn’t supposed to be a transaction or a payment. It’s something the giver takes out with their happiness. As far as moving to the US for him is concerned, if you’re getting married, you’ll have to take the plunge. Would you have not moved for the sake of your friends if you were living with your parents and had to move with them to the US? If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777