Dear Mathira and Rose I was married to this amazing woman for a long time. She took care of me and our kids like a pro. Loved me and did everything! I messed up and out of boredom, started an affair with an office colleague. Things got out of hand and one day I left my wife and kids and married her. Many years passed and my new wife just was not the right fit for me like my ex was. She was work oriented and never home. I became miserable and regretful. One day, I was at a bookstore and I saw a book that had my ex-wife’s picture as the author. She had gotten married and become a writer. My eyes filled with tears. She never pursued her dreams when she was with me because she prioritised me and our children. I really want to go back in time and fix everything but I can’t. What shall I do? Regards, Regretful Mathira’s Advice: You can’t go back in time. Such is the sad reality. Yes, we do regret things but we need to live like that. Having said that, if we kept dwelling in the past, we won’t be able to enjoy our present. No one’s perfect. If your ex-wife had certain attributes, it doesn’t mean your new wife would have those too. Please know one thing, if you failed a woman, please don’t fail another. Be happy for your ex wife. That’s all. You considered your ex as a misfit, that’s why you went and started an affair. I’m sure you must be head over heels in love with her that you divorced your previous for her. But now, you’re considering her as a misfit too. So I think the problem isn’t in the women, the problem is with you. It’s like I said, you need to understand that no one’s perfect. You need to appreciate people’s imperfections. You need to fix this relationship and tell yourself that in the mirror. I think you’ll regret this marriage too and might go for a third one, in which also you’ll find issues. I repeat that the problem is not the women, the problem is you and you need to fix your habit. Please fix yourself. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira Rose’s Advice: I’m so sorry but I think you got what you deserved. You were a cheater and this is your karma. That woman who did everything for you and even gave up on her dreams for you and her kids now deserves to be happy and live her dream as it’s her right. Leaving aside the years that led to your divorce, it’s good that she got rid of a person like you. Sweetheart, karma is served and now you may enjoy it. If out of boredom, you started an affair then out of regret, you can live this married life of yours. The woman for whom you cheated on your wife, is now very much your spouse and you need to deal with that. There’s no guarantee you would not begin another affair with somebody out of boredom because men like you will always be cheaters. You knew what you were getting into so now if she’s work oriented, you have to deal with that. She can’t leave her job just because she’s your wife now. If you’re meeting somebody at an office so obviously they’ll be work-oriented. Everyone is not like your former wife who let go of their dreams to build a home with you. May Allah give her more success. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777