Dear Mathira and Rose I need sincere advices. So I have been in a relationship with a guy for almost a year and a half. We’ve been open about our relationship and are now planning to make it official but what I came to know at this time is really breaking my heart and might give me a nervous breakdown too. The guy is very good from each and every aspect but is not religious. He’s Muslim by birth but his religious views are really worrisome for me eg today, when I told him to pray because we would want to set a good example for our children in the future, he said even if they don’t pray it’s alright, they can do other useful things with their life. Secondly, he doesn’t fast at all and pretends before me that he is. I never make him realise that I know because I think at least he respects my views. His views about some controversial topics also makes me think he might be an atheist. I’m totally freaking out. I asked him today about his religious views and orientation but he isn’t replying and very conveniently changed the topic. Kindly help me out. What should I do? Since both our families are involved now as well. The proposal thing has been done and we both are in love. I would also like to add one thing that a couple of months ago, he revealed that he was Hafiz-e-Quran. Regards, Spiritually Lost Mathira’s Advice: Darling, one thing I say to everyone is never to force your religious views on someone. If you offer your prayers, then continue with that. Maybe he’s going through something. Many people have the same attitude towards life. It’s Allah who draws people closer to Him by putting something in their hearts and minds. You shouldn’t judge him rather observe him. In fact, find out what happened in his life that distanced him from Islam. This kind of behaviour is shown by those people who are disheartened. I faced a similar situation once in my life where I was disheartened and didn’t know where I was going. I had so many questions but no answers. I distanced from Islam. I thought Allah had left me alone. I’m not very open about my connection with Allah, but I do offer my prayers and do tasbih. But at that time, I left everything. But then, something happened and I walked back towards Allah. Nobody nudged me in that direction. Everyone has dealt with trauma so you need to find out what happened to him. Please don’t break this bond with him just because you think his religious views are different than yours. He’ll only change when you stop judging him. You’ll be his spouse and because you’re religious, that can impact him. When he’ll see his children being born, he’ll realise what a miracle of Allah all that can be. He’ll see the bigger picture. Just let him be and try to work with that. Also, if you care about him that much, why don’t you pray for him that Allah brings him to right path? Whatever he’s going through emotionally is not hidden by Allah so you should pray that He brings him closer to Islam and trust me, when you’ll pray for him, Allah will solve this problem. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira Rose’s Advice: One thing that strikes me the most in this entire issue of yours is that how come his distancing from religion occurring to you now after a year and a half. Why didn’t you discuss any of this before you chose to involve your family? Sweetheart, I’ll only tell you this one thing which is not to inherit your religion, rather learn it. Secondly, as far as kids not seeing their father as a good example is concerned, this is something which you’re assuming. A person’s religious views are between him and Allah. Also, we can only educate and advise our kids on how they should live their lives and not impose anything on them. I believe children follow their mothers’ example more than they follow their fathers’ when it comes to religion. Also, the children will come later, so let’s go back to your fiancé. He’s a Hafiz-e-Quran so I hope you know how life transforming that is. It’s not a small thing. Maybe he isn’t too extreme with his views is what I think. But unless he talks about it himself, I would tell you not to judge him. If he wants to follow Islam, he will. You can’t impose anything on him or force him to live a certain way. Whether you want to be in this relationship or not is entirely up to you. If you really wanted to be with someone with the same religious views as yours, it’s like I said, you should’ve thought about it before involving your parents. What he feels about Islam is a matter of heart and you’re nobody to call him out on not fasting or skipping his prayers. But again, if it’s bothering you that much, then don’t be with him. It just doesn’t make sense to me that after dating him for so long and then involving families too, all of a sudden, his religious views are a problem to you. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777