Dear Mathira and Rose I am a 33-year-old girl who lives with her mother-in-law. My problem is that she makes me feel stupid and inferior by implying that she knows all and I know nothing. Even in the kitchen, she doesn’t let me do anything; it feels like I’m her puppet. I’m a working woman but she’s always telling me how I relax and unwind at work and am not productive anywhere. I’m not seeking her validation or anything but I feel I’m unacknowledged and useless around the house owing to how she treats me. I don’t want to share all these petty things with my husband. He will not understand me. Please suggest me something for my mental peace. Regards, Useless Daughter-in-law Mathira’s Advice: If your mother-in-law is giving you a hard time, please don’t share it with your husband. Because from what I’ve seen, the man gets bashed from the mother if he says something. He would get bashed from the wife if he says something against her demands. So then he can’t take sides and ends up depressed. If your mother-in-law is giving you a hard time, remember that she’s aging. It’s hard for them to accept that times have changed. Most mothers-in-law are dealing with anxiety and hormonal imbalance. They don’t accept what they’re going through and refuse to seek therapy. They’re going through a rough patch. You just need to ignore and turn a deaf ear to her. You won’t react to someone yelling at you on the streets. You’ll just let it go. Take her as an Internet troll who should’ve no effect on you and trust me, your life will be better. Do not let that mess up your married life. Most marriages mess up due to these reasons and then the mother-in-law takes credit for warning her son beforehand about his wife. So just calm down. It’s just like I said, she’s a troll who you need to ignore. If she’s in the kitchen, just look at her and smile. If she says something mean, smile. She’ll be irritated on how her words don’t affect you anymore. So she’ll do that for a week and then when she’ll get no reaction, she’ll get tired. She’ll ultimately accept her defeat and leave you alone. But you do need to follow my advice for that to happen. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @real_mathira Rose’s Advice: I haven’t had a mother-in-law myself, but let me tell you that it’s right when they say that history repeats itself. A woman will give the same kind of treatment she got from her own mother-in-law. So the fact that she makes you feel inferior and not good enough comes from how she was made to feel when she had a mother-in-law. She had to walk down the same road when her mother-in-law did that very same thing to her so now she wants to take it out all on you. Because that’s how it has been happening and that’s how it’s going to happen every time. To keep yourself peaceful mentally, you need to block her okay? You’re not seeking her validation which is great. I think you should tell your husband that this has been happening for a long time now. Don’t sound complaining though as then he’ll tell you that his hands are tied since she’s his mother. Tell him that you didn’t want to share this with him earlier as you didn’t want to sound petty. Just tell him that it’s now getting out of hand and affecting your mental peace. I think it’s fair to share with your husband so just tell him. Secondly, for your mental peace, you need to block out such negative energy. I know it’s hard as sometimes, when a person says something mean, they do force out a reaction from you. Obviously in her case, you can’t be rude to her so it ruins your day as you keep your emotions bottled up inside. So do bring this to your husband’s knowledge. If you want sisterly advice on any issue, DM me @rosemohammed777