ISLAMABAD: In a stern statement issued to the Armed forces earlier today, Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) Chairman Imran Khan warned of ‘dire consequences’ if justice isn’t provided to the Motorway officials harassed by Pakistan Army personnel last week. While addressing an urgently summoned press conference in the capital earlier today, Khan said these consequences include, but aren’t limited to, dharna outside GHQ in Rawalpindi, a rally throughout the entire length of the Motorway road network in Pakistan, asking a judicial inquiry and demand for the resignation of the Chief of Army Staff (COAS) for ‘blatant manifestation of moral corruption on his institute’s part’. Khan has pledged that the non-political, nonpartisan and high professional Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Police will take stern action against the Army officials who were involved in the beating of motorway police. “OyeRaheel Sharif, remember that the sole meaning of PTI is ‘justice’,” Khan said. “The Gullu Butts of Army will not be spared for harassing the innocent Motoway Police officials.” Khan later went to the Motoway Police office to show solidarity, and anger was visible on his face while talking to media. “I was in Islamabad when I heard about the tragic news,” Khan said. “I drove my vehicle on the Motorway at over 180km/h to reach to the scene immediately.” Khan presented the example of the US and how an Army General was sent home when he disapproved the President stance. He then went on to quote the example of the UK PM who used to honour traffic rules. Khan confirmed that a small container, only one feet high, is being prepared to orchestrate the Ehtisab Rally against Pakistan Army. According to technical experts, the small height of the container will maximize acceleration while taking a U-turn in emergency situations. This satire was originally published in Khabristan Times and has been reproduced with permission