When actress Nadia Jamil’s conversation with Daily Times commenced, the times were recalled when the actress would act in mild and artistic television projects such as ‘Putli Ghar’, ‘Kahaniyan’ and ‘Dhoop May Sawan’, most of which would be written by Mohammed Ahmed and Azra Babar and directed by Mehreen Jabbar. Nadia Jamil considers those days as a hugely transformative period in her life, both as an actor and as a woman. “I have wonderful fond memories of the time during which I worked with Mehreen Jabbar, Azra Babar and Mohammad Ahmad. They are good friends and we had such a fun time working and hanging out together. I learned a lot from all of them. We were a great team; really passionate and brainstorming off each other. I have been blessed that way. I went on to meet Haissam Hussain, KanwalKhoosat and so many incredible artists I can share my stories and visions with and learn from theirs. Making close, soul friends in the industry who share your passion and vision for the art of storytelling is an incredible, magical process,” she said. It is interesting to note that one of the most unique serials of the time, ‘Aur Zindagi Badalti Hai’, which was shot in the historical streets of Spain was Jamil’s creation. Sadly, we never saw her conceiving any more stories after that, although she believes that stories are an integral part of us. “Stories are tied up in our DNA in our genetic memory. Memories in our bodies, our subconscious, the way we develop characters, the themes we choose, the language we choose to tell our stories in, all reveal so much about life, others and ourselves. The unravelling of a story is such an incredible process. I think of some of my own favourite stories from ‘Aesop’s Fables’, “1001 Nights” and Grimms’ Fairy Tales” to classic literature like Austen, Dickens and Bronte to Georgette Heyer, PG Wodehouse, Arundhati Roy, Vikram Seth and Musharaf Farooqi to Ashfaq Ahmad, Manto, Ismat Chugtai, Shafiqur Rahman and I could go on and on with an endless list. Stories from religion, from one’s families, from hearsay, the neighbour-hood, urban myths, one’s own experiences, all stay inside one and keep building up, layer upon layer. They do not just affect the way our characters walk, talk, love, hate, live, but they affect the way we do so as well. So much of my life is lived in my head with my stories and because of it, I am often alone and never lonely, especially here in Cambridge where it is just me and my boys. The boys leave for school, and it is just the trees, my stories and myself. I am great at telling these stories verbally. I get a lot more lost when writing them down. That takes Superhuman Discipline. Good writers are superheroes and magicians, and the process of starting to write a story is hell. Once it is done, it is great to go back and tweak-tweaking till the dialogues are spoken and performed. It is like raising a child. You have to learn to let go. And edit,” she laughed and said. When asked if she also reads the works the adaptations of which are given to her to perform in, such as ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’ and ‘The Ghost’, Jamil said, “When I’m given plays for stage, I do study the character and read the original text, if there is one. I do all my homework. For screen, I have not generally been as familiar with the original texts. I probably should be. I develop the character within me. I have a general mistrust of modern-day Urdu scripts that make the female protagonist into a snivelling, whining, co-dependent woman. There are only so many of such depressing, needy roles a woman, well, I, can play. I find women beautiful, fascinating, exciting, empowered, strong and vulnerable. All people can be potentially, can’t they? So just playing this one-dimensional cardboard character generally written or perceived by someone else can get boring.” ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’, Jamil’s serial mentioned above happens to be one of her most popular projects, and one of Hum TV’s most popular projects as well. Written by the famous female writer of the modern times, Umera Ahmad, ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’ was a serial that made place in the hearts of some people owing to its protagonist being a patient woman. However, the patience and bravery, for some of the viewers, also became submissiveness and compliance. Jamil, who played the protagonist’s daughter in the serial was asked if the element of compromise in ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’ is something with which she personally agrees or not, to which she responded in the following words, “I tried hard that my character Shandana not be like her mother even as she learns so much from her mother. Dur-e-Shahwar chooses unending self-sacrifice. Sometimes women do that for their children. Mothers can be like trains rushing down a hill without a break when it comes to sacrificing our own comfort and happiness to make sure our kids are okay. I am learning now that too much of that self-sacrifice is not good for our kids. It makes them less independent, more self-entitled. I am learning to respect and learn what my own needs are again, so that my children see that it is important to love and live while respecting the needs of others. It is important to be self-sufficient. Stories like ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’ remind me of who I could be if I kept giving in. It takes courage to say, ‘no more’! But I also learned that you do not have to say it like Shandana. You can say it with grace, respect, giving in sometimes. My mother taught me that selfishness stops relationships from growing. Love is a verb. I can say I love someone but if I do not work at showing it in the ways it matters, the relationship will get ill, maybe even die. ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’ reiterates that. I do believe that one needs to choose one’s battles. Shandana goes back to her husband. She wants to try and make that family work. She wants to stop being toxic. One can only hope he does as well. She makes it clear that she will not stop working and will not abandon her career, but she does not want her daughter to feel neglected anymore. These are important, balanced decisions. As an actress I have to believe in my character even when I do not like her or respect her choices. I played a woman who attempts murder once. I do not put a moral qualification on storytelling. Stories reflect society or the world inside somebody’s head. They are personal and yet once told, they are out there, in someone else’s head. It is reality and make believe at the same time. I cannot slot or moralise about a good story. I think Heathcliff and Catherine were both really emotionally unhealthy people, but do I love Wuthering Heights? Yes! Have I loved Pride and Prejudice? Yes. Would I be attracted to an individual like Darcy? Highly unlikely. Stories tap into something in our gut; needs that we have hidden with defences built around them, needs we do not want to recognise within ourselves sometimes. I believe in the power of any good story. ‘Dur-e-Shahwar’ was such a good story.” Jamil expresses a wish to work with Sarmad Khoosat and also wishes she had worked with the late Girish Karnad and Shyam Benegal. “They were so brilliant,” she says. While talking about her other favourite directors, she said, “I cannot work enough with Haissam Hussain. He is amazing to work with every time, as is Asim Raza, Najaf Bilgrami, Shahid Shafaat. These are directors who really get their hands into the character and can be trusted with the stories. Baz Luhrmann is also brilliant. Bjorn Runge is someone I would love to work with. Raz Shaw is also incredible and I know I could learn so much from him. I already have from the little exposure I have had to him.” When inquired about her other interests apart from acting, Jamil told that when she does not act, she teaches. “I would also like to seriously work in Child Protection Services. I am happiest while working with children, young people, acting and grooming dogs,” she said. The actress’s upcoming project is a serial named ‘Damsa’ which she has done for Showcase Productions, produced by Shazia Wajahat and directed by Najaf Bilgrami. Talking about her experience, she related, “Shazia Wajahat is a good producer to work with and Najaf Bilgrami was important for me to work with as a director. I learned a lot about my limitations as an actor. I am so curious to see what he has done with ‘Damsa’. The young child actor, Emaan Khan who plays Damsa is phenomenal! And the younger one, Falak who plays my son is also adorable!” While expressing excitement for the project, Jamil also discussed the theme of the serial. “Child trafficking and child protection are huge issues in Pakistan. We cannot talk about it enough. It is high time things change for children here. The status quo has been disgusting for children for decades and decades now. Education, health, lack of awareness, lazy syllabi, negative reinforcement-all of it is horrible. And then our incapacity to protect children from rape, disease, neglect, illiteracy, abuse is also a serious issue. It needs to be addressed and it needs to be addressed intelligently,” she said. Jamil also maintains that she wishes to write. “I want to write the stories in my heart. I have shared some of them with Haissam Hussain and Gohar Rasheed. Now to finish writing them, Insha Allah!” The writer is a freelance journalist and can be reached at m.ali_aquarius85@yahoo.com