Dear Mathira & Rose, I am a 30-year-old girl. I have an unmarried sister-in-law who’s exactly my age. Please tell me how to deal with her toxicity. I’m falling into depression because of her meanness. She keeps feeding my mother’s-in-law ears and makes everything I do seems negative. She creates drama and fuss in the house and mixes up the truth with lies about me, even though I’ve always been nice to her and I make sure to treat her well by giving her gifts etc. She’s very sweet to me in front of my husband but behind my back, she’s always making me seem like the bad person. She starts crying and creating more fuss if I confront her about her lies and becomes the victim in front of her parents. I’ve been ignoring her now but the problem is, whatever I say or do in the house, she portrays it negatively in front of others, lies and twists things up! Please tell me know how to deal with the situation and make my in-laws realise what she’s doing. I’ve started to hate being at my in-laws’ house now because of her and I’m always self conscious and uneasy there now. I don’t feel comfortable doing anything there, even though my intentions are always good for everyone. Rose’s advice: This is the kind of problem that every second girl is facing everywhere in the world. The reason why she’s mean to you is very obvious. You’re married and living a happy life which she’s not. It’d be a bad idea to confront her because her mother will obviously defend her daughter even if she’s wrong. Your sister-in-law wants you to react and become a villainess of the house, disturbing everyone’s peace. Take your husband into confidence and tell him about this in a very normal way. The next time something happens, try to explain to him what you did and how she reacted to it. You need to tell him what his sister is up to so he knows what you’re going through. If you’re living in so much negativity and depression, this would escalate and make you become a toxic person yourself. These small things add up and become bigger even if you try to stay silent and absorb all of it. One day, you’re just going to explode. Try to find a proposal for her so she gets married and goes away. Mathira’s advice: It’s obvious that your sister-in-law has issues with you and she’s constantly comparing herself to you, which isn’t good. Please relax as things like these do happen and problems do arise. You need to convince your husband about the reality and you can only do that if you’ve proof in your hand, by maybe recording what she’s doing or saying to you and showing it to him. If someone’s child is wrong, they never accept it openly. So I understand if her parents defend her. Your mother-in-law will try to support her but once you have proof, you won’t be blaming her rather giving everyone a reality check. Don’t take it to your head because this is what life is. It’s full of drama and people who create drama so this is how it goes. Take it easy but do gather proof against her as she’s being mean. Hide the phone in your bag when you record. Talk to her and ask her questions. Provoke her and get the answers out. Your husband and your mother-in-law will then know what’s actually happening in the house. If you want advice on any issue, email us your questions at sisterlyadvice@dailytimes.com.pk