Daily Times

Dear Mathira and Rose,

My boyfriend and I are together from the last five years. We are very much in love and close to each other. Problem comes when I ask him to tell his parents about us. He shows reluctance and starts arguing every time I bring up this topic. I really want to get settled in life but doubt whether he wants to marry me. What should I do?

Rose’s advice:

Giving five years of your life to someone is a really long time. It’s half a decade and a big part of your life. First of all you both need to decide what to do you want to do with this relationship. You have been in this relationship for the last five years. Have you not considered getting engaged? It’s clear that if he is not telling his parents about you and has not introduced you to them, he does not want to get married to you. Otherwise why would he keep the relationship secret, five years is a long time and I think it’s about time you sit down and have a chat with him. Ask him plainly what his intentions are. Does he want to get married to you? Is he interested in settling down? You don’t want to waste another five years so talk to him and decide what you want.

If you want advice on any issue, email us your questions at sisterlyadvice@dailytimes.com.pk

Mathira’s advice:

It is easy to make tall claims of love and till death do us apart, but very few follow through on such promises. However, a lot of guys get cold feet when you mention marriage. So I think you need to be patient. Try to be understanding and realise why he is hesitating. As I said earlier it could be just cold feet. So give him space. You can’t force someone to do something for you. As you said the relationship is a loving one, so why risk endangering it? Go with the flow. If he loves you he will tell his parents when he is ready or when he gets the balls to do it. So don’t force him, you might end up losing him. When you force someone into marriage it never works out. Wouldn’t you rather he gets down on one knee and asks you to marry him rather than try badgering him into submission?

If you want advice on any issue, email us your questions at sisterlyadvice@dailytimes.com.pk

Published in Daily Times, March 19^th 2019.