Daily Times

Dear Mathira and Rose,

I am 39 years old and I weigh 92 kilogrammes with a loose belly as a result of multiple C-section operations. I get body shamed a lot. It’s really embarrassing when random women come up to me asking if I’m pregnant because I’m not. I can’t workout because I have weak knee muscles. How do I hit back at body shamers? Of late, I’ve noticed that my husband has also stopped looking at me lovingly the way he used to. I’m hating myself. What do I do?

Rose’s advice:

I would like to share with you that I also used to be overweight. I weighed 98kg at my heaviest. I was body shamed as well. But you need to turn your life around and stop feeling sorry for yourself and not be a victim. If you can’t workout, go on a diet. Seventy percent of losing weight is about dieting. From 98kg, I now weight 56kg. No doubt your husband doesn’t look at you like that, because he doesn’t find you attractive anymore. No doubt, you’re the mother of his children but even then he won’t look at you lovingly because you have stopped looking attractive. Things like he should be accepting you the way you look are true but every man wants to come home to a pretty wife. As far as body-shaming is concerned, you’ve to face it, because it’s a norm in Pakistan now. You see, even celebrities are body-shamed. It’s no big deal; you have to learn how to ignore. But having said that, you need to turn your life around for the sake of your children. You need to be active for them and play with them. Being overweight is not healthy as you’ll suffer from many illnesses like stamina issues, cholesterol issues and heart diseases. I also think your knee problem is a result of your heavy weight. You need to go on a protein diet as it worked for me too. Remove flour, sugar and rice from your food. Follow this and you’ll notice a difference. Once this happens, start going out for walks and avoid high-intensity workouts. Later, you can hire a trainer and tell him/her to help you tone your body so you can get rid of loose skin.

If you want sisterly advice on any Issue give me a shout @rosemohammed90

Mathira’s advice:

Weighing 92kg is bound to get you body-shamed by people, baby. What do you expect? Pregnancy is not a disease. It’s not an excuse to get fat. You should’ve seen the alarms going red when you had starting piling on weight at that time. If you see yourself getting fat and awkward with clothes not fitting on you anymore and your love life going down the drain with your man not wanting to f**k you anymore, you need to gear up otherwise you will lose your man. You don’t want to be looking after your kids with a horrible married life. First of all, go on a diet, okay? You seem to have so many excuses that I’m getting pissed off at you. You seem to want to fall asleep and wake up as Cinderella. That’s not going to happen. You have to face a lot of s**t. Please start your diet. I don’t care if your knees are weak. You ******* need to work. Also, plus size models are in, so try to see if your husband likes that kink. Try to go with that kinky s**t. I always tell this to couples. The guy needs to explore a woman. Try to make your husband taste a new dish. Maybe if you’re lucky, you dress up and look pretty with a doll face, despite being plus size, he’ll like you more perhaps. But if he’s not into that kink, simply go on a diet.

If you want sisterly advice on any Issue give me a shout @IamMathira

Published in Daily Times, February 22^nd 2019.