BBC held a discussion, titled ‘What it means to be a woman in Pakistan’ at the Institute of Business Administration in Karachi. The panel consisted of comedian Faiza Saleem, actor Mahira Khan, footballer Hajra Khan and activist/lawyer Nighat Dad with The Conversation presenter Kim Chakanetsa. How do you tackle cyber bullying? Do feminists hate men? And what has #MeToo done for Pakistan? These were just some of the questions tackled by the all-female panel brought together for this special edition of The Conversation. IBA students in attendance also asked the panellists questions about stereotypes and body-shaming. Comedian Faiza Saleem tackled the issue of body shaming and societal pressure on women to look a certain way. “For me to be a woman in Pakistan means that I may be breaking ground in comedy but I’m expected to look a certain way to feel beautiful and worthy. I feel it’s a huge part of my life and the lives of many other Pakistani women,” said Saleem. “They’re people who have absolutely nothing to do with your life, and I don’t understand why it (body types) bothers them so much; I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure this out. They’re so concerned with how you look and how you dress and the way you are. This uncle once said to me in front of my husband, ‘Beta, I really hope you’re trying to lose weight for your wedding,’ and I couldn’t stop staring at his face,” the comedian continued. Saleem also pointed out the hypocrisy of how male comedians, unlike the women are not judged on appearances. “So there’s a male comedian, he doesn’t have hair and he’s referred to as Ganji Swag but if I’m overweight and if I don’t have hair or have acne, no one is going to call me Acne Swag or Moti Swag. And I find that really funny. It’s not about their looks. I do feel they (male comedians) are judged differently, I make it a point to go on their Facebook pages and check the comments (under their videos), and they are so different from the comments I get or other female comedians get. [Our comments are] about how we look and how we dress, whereas their comments are about their comedy. I don’t expect people to love my comedy, they could hate me, but don’t say, ‘Oh you’re fat.'” Meanwhile, actor Mahira Khan spoke about how she deals with cyberbullying: “I’m the poster child for cyber bullying. It’s hurtful. I think about myself as someone who understands that I have enough faith and confidence in myself [and not to listen to haters], but again I am older, I am in a stage in my life where I can think like this.” “I could win an award and they’d drag me down. I could wear sleeveless and [they’ll say] I’ll go to hell and take everyone who loves me to hell with me. My only advice to you is that these people do not exist. It’s not real.” ‘I could win an award and they’d drag me down. I could wear sleeveless and they’ll say I’ll go to hell and take everyone who loves me to hell with me. My only advice to you is that these people do not exist. It’s not real,’ Mahira says “Against all odds I get to — and I choose to — make my own choices and because I’m in a place of power and privilege I can have the generations to come in many many ways. It’s a great place to be,” she added. Speaking about pressures of stardom, the actor went on to say: “I think when you get that much love and when you are that popular, it comes with very, very high expectations. And contrary to what people think, our lives are very tough. They do not know how it feels to get into character, to get out of character and still be smiling for the cameras, no matter what has happened in your life. You life could be falling apart but for your audience you have to put up a show. I think that is the hardest thing because the show is constantly on.” “In my private moments it all does come crashing down because the circus is over but you’re still the clown. I’ve suffered from anxiety and a lot of other things. It’s a tough place to be in, I’m sure its the same for everyone in such high pressure fields but the flip side to that is when you love what you do, honestly there’s nothing better.” Athlete Hajra Khan spoke about prejudice from family and outside that female athletes counter. “I may be a top level athlete in my sport but that might mean that I lose bits of my family in the process. I know a lot of female athletes who are not allowed [to play professional a sport] but then they still strive, there’s a lot we leave behind in the process,” she said. Activist/lawyer Nighat Dad tackled the issue of cyber harassment and offered guidelines: “There are different strategies on our cyber harassment helpline. We have lawyers who talk about cyber law and legal remedies and we have mental health counselling for blackmailing, stalking, harassing. 70% cases we receive at the helpline are related to data young people share with each other, so when relationships or friendships don’t end up on good terms, the other party misuses that data mostly they’re intimate videos and they blackmail the other person that they’ll leak the info online.” She also advised the students of how to better protect their data online: “I think one tip I would like to give to young people, before sharing your data make informed decisions, I don’t want to be a moral police but once your your data is out on the internet, via WhatsApp, or any other platform, it will stay there forever, even if you remove your profile on Facebook or delete your data, stop using Information and communications technology (ICTs).” Published in Daily Times, February 19th 2019.