We, here at Daily Times, would like to begin by saying that we stand by Meesha Shafi at this difficult time as she confronts a polarised and, often-times, toxic media environment. The singer-actress has accused superstar Ali Zafar of sexual harassment. That she was prepared for the inevitable vitriolic the social media backlash simply underscores her courage in speaking out. This has prompted other women to come forward. They, too, have been subjected to much of the same. Yet this is not about Meesha Shafi or Ali Zafar and their celebrity credentials. But about a larger issue that plagues our workplaces, our homes, buses and studios. And it is time to both acknowledge and do something about it. Let us be very clear. No woman, however privileged, has anything to gain from levelling such allegations. Quite the contrary, actually. She can expect to be slut-shamed. To facing recriminations over what took her so long to go public. To being hounded for proof. To, perhaps most insidiously, being roughly reminded that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Of course, this last courtesy is only ever extended to men. Women whistle-blowers are never afforded the same benefit of the doubt. After all, here in the 21st century, the world over, men remain the ones who whose reputations and careers count in large amounts. Responses to Ms Shafi’s claims have been nothing short of bitterly disappointing. From the seemingly benign defence of Mr Zafar on the shaky grounds that he has never acted inappropriately towards them. Yet as the academic Mira Hashmi wisely pointed out on social media: the #MeToo movement is not to be confused with #NotMe. Moreover, this is anything but innocent semantic misunderstanding. It is a fully-loaded slur to be fired by the trigger-happy; the subtext being that men behave a particular kind of way with certain types of women. Then there are the men who dress themselves in the borrowed robes of male allies. The ones who take to social media to ask when women from other industries to will speak up. Or else who boast about knowing the identity of other big names; all the while paying deferential respect to women victims by not, you know, mansplaining on their behalf. To these ‘gentleman’ we say: if you know of men who harass women and remain silent then you have clearly chosen your side. And it is not that of women. To Ali Zafar, we say, yes, you have the right to seek legal recourse. And as a privileged man you might even benefit from speedy process. But what you do not have the right to do is to hide behind your family; your status as a husband, father and son are irrelevant. Other than to try and guilt Ms Shafi and others into putting your family first. When that was your job. To be sure, sexual harassment of women is a global phenomenon. As is the backlash against speaking up. Just ask Hollywood’s Rose McGowan. It is important to understand this. Blind faith in the Pakistan-exceptionality-theory is extremely dangerous. For not only does it imply nothing can be one — it lets men like Ali Zafar off the hook. Time and again. * Published in Daily Times, April 21st 2018.