The recent spectacle at the Higher Education Commission, where a performance review reportedly devolved into farce amidst a brewing conflict between two senior executives, serves as yet another potent metaphor for everything that’s wrong with the country’s higher education sector. It is a tragedy that HEC has been hogging the way of talented faculty and research scholars who have it in them to win international opportunities for research. The thing is HEC has created an image to the international donors that it is responsible for Pakistani universities and degree-awarding institutions. Through this misleading narrative, HEC, which in itself was set by a dictator, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, pulls all funds to itself and with these funds, its top-heavy offices are run. Even if its claims of overseeing over 240 universities are true, it has yet to rise above personality clashes and ad hoc procedures. From the plagiarism scandal involving a former chairman to the botched online learning pivot during COVID-19, HEC’s track record has been marred by missteps. At the heart of the issue lies a dangerous centralization of power. It becomes extraordinarily hard to ensure due process in any scenario where the office that initiates inquiries against an employee also chairs them. Wouldn’t the accuser risk diluting the seriousness of his claim if he is foreseen as an adjudicator? The 2002 Ordinance does not adequately safeguard against this conflict of interest, nor does it define clear standards for disciplinary action as to flawed policies or overall academic standards. The consequences go beyond bureaucratic turf wars. Accreditation timelines face reported delays and quality assurance reviews are frequently stalled. Consequently, universities remain unclear on approved benchmarks, and students are forced to pay the price in the form of degrees becoming unrecognised abroad or learning curricula, which is not aligned with global standards. Meanwhile, we have yet to see the Commission materialise its much-touted digital reform roadmap, intended to streamline review practices. The HEC cannot credibly demand excellence from universities when its own house is in disarray. What is needed now is a legislative fix: an independent board to oversee performance reviews; revisions to the Ordinance to define timelines and appeal processes; and a digital transparency portal to track complaints, inquiries, and outcomes in real-time. Prime Minister Shahbaz Sharif would be better off listening to the long list of grave accusations against the body. If regulators can’t regulate themselves, they have no business lecturing universities. *