Republicans in the US have been raked over the coals these past few months; the clowning around on the presidential hopefuls’ stage would make even a Democrat cringe. And the gaffes of the wannabes in the Pakistani paradigm are no different, except that the clowning there seems to include the prominent of all parties. Betrayed by Bill Clinton’s private adventures in the White House, the US seemed to have gone into overdrive to redefine its moral compass. Fairly elected or not, George W Bush ruled for eight years with misadventures more grave, numerous and enduring than this article can accommodate. The personal life of any presidential candidate, or many a politician for that matter, has become as easily examinable as their tax returns. In a debate, Texas Governor Rick Perry listed three departments that he would do away with but, for the life of him, in the interminable silence of a waiting national audience, could not remember the name of the department of energy. On another note, he thunderously said that the first order of business if he were to become president would be the termination of aid to all other countries. This time, with greater alacrity than the amnesic crisis though, he stuttered, “except Israel”. For in the minds of all presidential hopefuls there is no crossing the Israeli lobby. History can be a pain, but I would brush up on it if I were aspiring to lead the US. Republican presidential hopeful Michelle Bachman stated, “The founding fathers, men like John Quincy Adams, did not rest till slavery was extinguished in this country.” As a matter of embarrassing fact, John Quincy Adams died in 1848; slavery was abolished by the 13th amendment to the constitution after the American civil war ended in 1865. Her worst faux pas, by far, came while commenting on the UK closing its embassy in Iran. She said that if she were president she would close the US embassy in Iran as well. Ouch. The US has not had an embassy in Iran since the hostage crisis in 1980! However, self-named ‘Harmanator’ Cain takes the cake — again and again. He would not have a Muslim in his cabinet because a Muslim friend he trusts told him that most American Muslims were extremists. Asked about Libya, he said that the Taliban was trying to gain control of government, unaware that they only roil Afghanistan and Pakistan, only a continent away. His intense and reflexive prejudice is difficult to digest, as he must have ancestors that suffered dehumanising segregation and whose woeful stories make up legend that communities absorb into their DNA. He encountered oncologist Dr Abdullah during his prostate cancer treatment and was markedly disturbed at the prospect of being treated by him. Cheerily, the nurse announced that Dr Abdullah was Christian. Cain was hugely relieved. However geographically and factually challenged the Republican hopefuls may be, casting perhaps a much needed eye on the US education system, it is not their gaffes that make people mad — it is the lies and denials. Four women have come forth with stories of a sexual nature involving Herman Cain and even though two of them were paid compensation, Cain is adamantly denying the charges. The death-knell to Cain’s campaign though will probably be the 13-year affair that he had with Ginger White right until early November when he announced his candidacy. Speaking of whites, leadership fervour in Pakistan is now focused on Imran Khan. No one quite predicted his popularity as displayed in the massive Minar-e-Pakistan rally in Lahore. The PML-N has been caught flat-footed and its attempts to diminish Imran Khan end up as being quite entertaining. People from all over the world are trying to be part of the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI). Khan’s opponents’ indignation at being trumped is leading to assaults on his character or on his book, paragraphs of which in a boisterous television talk show can be easily taken out of context. Ms Sita White is in Imran Khan’s past. He did marry a Jewish woman and does have a British politician for a former brother-in-law. He could despise feudalism and be less chauvinistic. And yet, one wonders, both in the US and in Pakistan, are the people to elect the pope for president or the best that the nation has on offer at the current time? Muslims love to judge one another and that is what politicians prey on. That an overwhelming majority of common folk in Pakistan is done with Zardari is incontrovertible. That ‘Zardari’ is now a slur in Pakistan speaks for itself. Pakistan’s intoxicating ‘kursi syndrome’ (chair syndrome) inherently involves being killed off or kicked out. It is simultaneously delusional and utopian to imagine a graceful exit for the Zardari-Gilani duo. So, let us judge if we must. Is unprecedented corruption by the Zardari-Gilani clan as well as the not-too-far-behind mega wealth of the Sharifs more desirable than the past physical indiscretions of Imran Khan? Are we giving our daughter’s hand in marriage to these men or considering their suitability to lead a nation that is at the brink of collapse and endures chaos of numerous hues on a daily basis? Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich will most likely compete for the Republican nomination. Flip-flopping on issues and being Mormon dog Romney. Gingrich though astute will suffer his relationship indiscretion’s baggage. The candidate that rightfully deserves the nomination is Dr Ron Paul. But with his take on The Patriotic Act being unpatriotic and well thought out but against-the-herd, his chances of being front-runner are slim. Predicting the future in Pakistan is akin to astrology. Events unfold at lightning speed and change the scene completely. Zulfiqar Mirza credits General Kayani for the continuance of democracy in Pakistan. More than normally boisterous and disorganised, its Pakistani version is still the best for Pakistan. For its continuance it is vital to get out the vote and not just scream in mega meetings. Pakistanis must mature in the democratic process and evaluate candidates on their leadership credentials and ability to yank Pakistan out of its ever-deepening morass, and not on whether they would be good brothers-in-law. Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com