I recently read a comment on international social media: “When Satan takes something that is beautiful and ruins it, it all begins with the mind!”
The comment nailed it. This is exactly what is wrong with Pakistani society today. Our minds are messed up. Our spiritual gurus on social media are solidifying the poor mental conditioning received in childhood. At the Karachi International Literature Festival, a person posed a question to a former federal minister in the session on the economy. In response, the former minister went ballistic and flailed his arms. If his outburst was extreme then the person asking the question was also weird. He looked like an educated man of means but his inappropriate conduct was apparent to everyone. Another former federal minister seated next to me also expressed her irritation before he even asked his question. An enraged response is uncivilized but unfortunately, it is the only antidote for toxic people, which the nation is teeming with. At the KILF I witnessed a toddler and her mother dressed in hijab and trailing abaya being intrusive and voyeuristic with a stranger female.
The mother turned the lady into an object of entertainment for her child when she started a running commentary on her and her food. Both the mother and the child kept staring at the lady.
Disrespecting the lady as such, made another young man visibly uncomfortable. He gulped down his food and abruptly left. This mother’s concern should have been her behaviour and actions with others while sharing public space. Her religiosity was overt as she instructed her daughter to say Alhamdulilah when the child had barely put the food in her mouth.
Another similarly dressed woman initiated conflict with me which triggered a headache. My silence emboldened the toxic woman.
Allah forbids leading a self-centred life and disregarding people’s rights.
In our society, the only way to avoid becoming victims of ego-driven toxicity is to act loud, uncouth and unreasonably aggressive. I prefer not to feed the negative energy of those who initiate conflict. Being non-confrontational puts one in a position of disadvantage in Pakistan when it comes to public dealings in social settings. Carla Marie, a California-based clinical psychologist says, “For those who enjoy the game of competition and ‘one-downing’ others, pettiness can be very rewarding. The dopamine centres in the brain can register that act of being petty as a rewarding and ‘to-be-repeated’ behaviour.”This is why we see road rage, traffic accidents with aggressive and violent confrontations, social media altercations and people in general yelling and bullying others to score a point for an ego trip.
Allah forbids leading a self-centred life and disregarding people’s rights.
Allah created us in pairs, families and tribes, as per the Quran. Man is hence a social animal. This is why social obligations are defined at the outset in the Quran. The Quran also informs us that when Prophet Shuaib (pbuh) commanded his nation to “Do not diminish to people their things.” (Quran 7:85). They mocked him. This disregard for the rights of others and the worship of idols caused his nation to be destroyed. The Quran has a whole chapter Al-Mutaffifin translated as a Short measure condemning those who short-change others in social dealings. The prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother or for his neighbour, what he loves for himself.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 66). A true in Islam is termed a Super Empath in psychology.
A true Muslim is a self-realized, humble, egoless, healthy empath with high self-esteem who will not allow delusion to affect their centre of peace. A majority of Pakistanis are toxic hypocrites who exhibit Narcissistic dysfunction. They are the most amusing mice to watch since they think they designed the maze. They are mired in a mess of their own making as they can never get off of the hamster wheel of toxicity. In my neighbourhood Whatsapp group I see the total disregard for neighbourly rights stressed by our beloved prophet (saw). I see educated and wealthy people as incapable of doing anything productive due to their negative mindsets. They love to bash anything and everything. Entitled and oblivious to their moral failings, they demand an honest leader, an effective judiciary and an efficient municipality. These people pay a pittance to their hired house help, resent paying taxes and are generally unmindful of giving others their due. Friday sermons tell men to police the clothing of their female relatives and to aspire to holy war. Friday sermons never instruct the Muslims to uplift their souls by guarding their tongues, regulating their gaze and controlling their hands. Our religious preachers completely avoid discussing the moral and social rights of others. Tele-evangelists use vile language and express violent urges, leading the people even further astray. Such tele-preachers are obsessed with manipulating social media algorithms to generate Youtube revenues. They groom Pakistanis to be bottom feeders by keeping all attention on violence and human sexuality.”Successful indeed is the person who uplifts it [their soul] and a failure indeed is that the person who lowers it [their soul]” (Quran 91: 9-10)
So many people still have all their hopes pinned on an ousted prime minister. It boggles the mind how people expect a Naya Pakistan, without changing anything about themselves. Those aspiring for Riyasat e Medina should realize that Islam changed the hearts of the pagans of Mecca. Pakistanis also need to change their willful, egotistical and self-serving attitudes and behaviours. This is every individual’s personal job as no leader can change hearts.
The writer is an independent researcher, author and columnist. She can be reached at [email protected]