Imagine being at a Pakistani funeral: everyone is sobbing away and the newly widowed female is trying to smash her bangles ala Hindi movies but is unable to. She faints every few minutes saying, “But kal hi toh yeh salad khaa rahe thay, walk bhi karte thay kabhi kabhi, around the building” (but only yesterday he had a salad and used to even walk sometimes), she says to the elderly women trying to pacify her. “Have patience beta (daughter),” they tell her. The newcomers trickling into the funeral are in no hurry to ask, “Kaise mara yeh?” (how did he die?) about the middle-aged dead man. Everyone assumes it is a heart attack because that is how most Pakistanis supposedly die when they die naturally. In fact, I do not know too many folks who went down trying to fight Parkinson’s disease or paralysis. Heart attacks were invented in Pakistan for our liberal use (and our neighbours as well). We have taken dips in salan (curry) right from our childhood, swimming our fingers in those four inches of orange hued layer of oil above every dish, satiating our taste buds. Then the doctor screams high blood pressure and, to kill the guilt, the occasional health food comes out and we take a walk up the stairs. Phew! Our graveyards are full of people who could have lived longer had they taken care of their heart from an early age onwards. Too much nihari padi poori family pe bhari (too much heavy food costs all the family). Cardiovascular disease is how more than 34 percent of Pakistanis die each year and yet we continue to do little about it. There is a widespread notion amongst the global medical community that believes South Asians have smaller coronary arteries making them more susceptible to hypertension and all other lovely things. Great! So, we actually begin our lives with one foot in our graves. Stress is of course a major contributor of how our heart functions and so is genetics but there are alternate ways to take care of our dil (heart) and we need to stress that now. We eat to fill our stomachs and then push our plates away to fit into that dress. There is no in between. Little thought is given to internal health and organs that work day and night. All dietary changes are for cosmetic purposes primarily. Our television screens are full of herbalists dishing out remedies to lose weight in a jiffy and seldom will there be some actual discourse on the prevention of heart disease. Our hearts are working overtime and aging faster than us as we continue pigging out on red meat, chicken and clogging our arteries with our favourite brand of cooking oil. The metropolises are lined up with gyms and every variety of salad is easily available but at a steeper price. Restaurants and food caterers still churn out qorma, biryani and kebabs in bigger daighs (pots) to meet the demands of the population. Healthy vegetarian desi food is hard to find as the parathas here also get stuffed with minced chicken! Goshtkhor nation hai yeh re baba (we are pure carnivores as a nation). In fact, we hate vegetables so much that the vegetable stalls here are one-third the size of the fruit shop or the butcher’s store. The sad looking sabzis (vegetables) sit there all day long, mostly to be purchased at a lower price at night. So how do we get our vitamins and fibre then? We do not, simply. Not enough anyway. Pakistanis will need to rethink their food psychology if they want their near and dear ones to stick around for longer and it will have to begin in the kitchen. It will have to also begin with adopting alternative strategies to de-stress. We can incorporate meditation in our daily lives; simply closing our eyes for five to 10 minutes a day can help relieve whatever tension hounds us. Yoga has a wonderful asan (pose) called the shavasan (corpse pose), which entails lying silently on our backs with palms out and just concentrating on breathing for a few minutes. This pose is extremely beneficial for hypertensive folks. Acupressure, acupuncture and foot reflexology are all wonderful, ancient forms of traditional Chinese medicine that have helped people reset their bodies for thousands of years. The main belief in these treatments is that there are pressure points located all along the body that when pressed or pricked, can relieve one of pain and they are worth a try. Adult colouring books are a new fad that can aid in refocusing and recharging our batteries. Some me time is necessary at the end of the day. Be it a self-massage or sitting quietly in a corner gazing at the sky, give your organs a break from the mundane so that they can continue to serve you longer. Cutting back on gossiping and keeping ourselves out of other people’s business is another way of limiting the amount of open mental tracks in our heads. We worry too much about what worries fellow Pakistanis. Not necessarily in a good way. Apne kaam se kaam aur dil rahe in araam (mind your own business and keep your heart healthy). The writer is a freelance columnist with a degree in Cultural Studies and a passion for social observation, especially all things South Asian. She tweets @chainacoffeemug